I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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