New low: just hacked my moms facebook
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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