so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
