I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
