i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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