Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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