Just fell off a train. Bad.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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