we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
