Moan for me like Helen Keller
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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