respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe he injected his testicle?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
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