My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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