I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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