before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....