Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
two words...techno handjob
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid