Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
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I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
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Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.