OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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