Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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