so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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