with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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