after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
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I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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