How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
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