I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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