why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
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Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
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Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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