This girl is more easily done than said...
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
