I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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