Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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