how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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