I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
