I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
How's work?
Spinning.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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