It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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