I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
