Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
