A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize