Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
