there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
