mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
