so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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