Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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