so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
