i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
