we're chasing vodka with high fives
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Randomize
