Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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