Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
