Kiss
Puke
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize