what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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