Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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