There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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