We won't sleep together?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Randomize
