I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
