I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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