I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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