we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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