That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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