we're chasing vodka with high fives
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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