his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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