Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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