Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
