he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
