so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
